I reckon I'm in an interesting place in my life right now. All that has been before has prepared me somehow to this very period that is happening and that is ahead of me. Nothing spectacular is happening on the surface, but inside I have transformed, resurrected, gone through metamorphosis. Yes, again I have become restless, trying to slip back to old rhythms and patterns, but the calmness of You has put my race horses in slower pace. You have taught and me made me re-remember importance of patience. Everything coming too easy, is not worth it - everyone knows that. I have a list of reasons in my head, that have not been right, I had to learn them painfully slow, to know, really recognize, who I am as a person and where I am headed. You somehow brought me back to trusting, blindly believing that not everyone lets you down eventually. I got to to the point of having strong moral code, 'who are you, when no one is watching?' type of questions, on my own. But letting down defense, trusting and knowing patience is power, that is something I needed guidance with. And I'm grateful, scared, but letting go of control and jumping in head first.
I am not trying to fill any emptiness or patch holes in my soul, I have actually arrived to the wholeness to grow together.
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