and now i got it.  i understand the sensation of shifting. the last piece of puzzle fell in its place.
earlier i had the urge to share all that was  happening in my life to the ones left behind, i lost it. i have lost track even, when it stopped. all the strings attaching are either cut or changed. i show what i want to be shown on the display. i am part of this picture. i'm simply not there anymore, i'm here. i'm home.