My Kind Of

from storms on international seas i slowly drifted back to my mellow motionless harbor. what once seemed boring and scary, became me. my days passed in the rhythm of learning how to love my work and embracing the silence around me.   i gave up the struggle of restraining myself, i gave up the need to have more really. i figured it is what it is and i can't do much about it. don't get me wrong. hope is something that never dies within me. it is as certain as sun will rise again each and every morning. hope for better tomorrow is the core essence of me. just nothingness suited me at the time being.

i went back to music, countless hours of movies, longest walks i have ever taken with my dog. i taught myself peace.

but what happened next, is what always happens, when you least expect it. you make truce with world, but universe still gives, what you deep down asked. delay is inevitable, its ironic, its brutal, its even ridiculous. it hits you in the face, shakes you off of your roots, shatters you, thrills you, leaves you trembling and naked and yet asking for more.

that's what happened. no answers, only question marks, going crazy, running up that hill. but that is what you begged for. remember the vivid vision years ago. maybe, just maybe, it can become real.