day in and day out i've been thinking, what the hell am i doing here. i just picked a random place on the map, packed my shit and took off. for no obvious reason. made believe reasons, for sure. it's funny as hell actually. the life i used to live, it was full of doubts, suffering, questioning everything, feeling hate and regret and all that crap. now i feel nearly nothing at all. on a deeper level. it might sound wrong, to think of. i meant, i'm more like... free of everyday shit. it's like pretend life. which is hundreds times easier, than the life i assumed was living. because change is ridiculously simple. every single day i can just choose differently and it all starts again. thousands of possibilities of scenario. not even a second, i'm stuck anymore. i shook that bollocks off. every single thing besides history can be replaced. and history will always remain history. i don't even understand anymore, why everybody get so stuck with the idea of shit that's gone. the very moment you realize the minutes passing by, it's already done and technically soon to be forgotten.
more i isolate my mind, more i alienate myself, clearer it gets. reality is insignificant and so is everything else. question is, how you want to spend it.
i used to think something is always in the stock and most of the time is stand by for greater things... on the contrary, this is actually IT.
i don't know, what went down. did five movies a day brainwash me, not flushing my brains down the drain with booze every single day, monotony of the routine...did i just grow up and accepted the fate, which is not half that bad, if you let go of the strings....who the hell knows and what does that shit even matter. even idiocracy is irrelevant. guess...i dunno...punk's not dead all of a sudden.